Hi everyone!
I don't really even know where to begin. It has been a very, very challenging week. We have some very difficult choices to make here and it has put a lot of strain on the work. I don't even really know what to say other than we need your prayers.
I remember a quote from a general authority. It said something to the effect that when we haven't done anything wrong and we are still undergoing trials and pain, it is because the Lord is stretching us. He is trying to help us reach a greater height- and like all growing experiences, this stretching generally entails pain. What a different kind of challenge too! I know that I have dealt with emotional challenges before, but each is unique. This is a mental and emotional struggle that is reaching a new height.
Another analogy from another general authority- we all begin life or callings as an acorn. We don't really know what we are doing. But we begin to grow and the Lord begins to qualify us for the callings we have. After some time, we become a giant oak tree that cannot be moved. We FINALLY have it all figured out! Then- next thing you know- the Lord begins to shake your trunk. An acorn falls and you have to start all over again. Things were almost too easy with Sister Munafo. We didn't really seem to struggle much at all. We got along. We loved the work and the people. We were focused on our purpose. There are some new challenges this time around and a lot of responsibility resting upon my shoulders.
Regardless, I am keeping my chin up. I know that the Lord is in the details of our lives and it has been made known to me by the Spirit how divinely inspired this companionship is. The Lord has placed a great trust in me. Now, I just need to trust in Him.
You know how President Hanks talked about a specific person that I am coming on my mission for? I have been thinking a lot about that ONE specific person. I just can't quite put my finger on it... I feel that it could be so many people at this point. But maybe more specifically, the Lord was trying to help me. This mission has influenced and impacted my life in a greater degree than anyone else's- I am sure. I know that I have changed. I know I have more changing to do. The Lord has blessed me with this mission. Hard as it is, I wouldn't want to leave. Not ever. I love it too much. And each growing experience helps me to walk a bit closer to my Savior as I get down on my knees. His power is real. His love is infinite... I am so grateful.
You know something else? Despite the challenges and the frustration of feeling like I am not working as hard as I would like to- the Lord is still blessing us with miracles. Maybe they aren't baptisms. But they are real. We have been working with a woman who has been less-active for some 30-odd years. Missionaries have been visiting with her for a few years now. We have invited her to church again and again with no results....
Yesterday we were standing out in the foyer waiting for Ward Council to begin. I turned around and standing there was Sister Lawrence!! I ran and hugged her and started to cry. In the midst of our greatest challenges, the Lord continues to reach out in love. He is softening hearts and changing lives. Sister Lawrence stayed for all three hours of church... I couldn't be more grateful... Oh I wish I could truly express my feelings!! The Lord is real. He is involved in the smallest details of our lives. He loves us.
I know that the gospel of Jesus Christ is true. I know that the power of the Atonement is the changing and saving power that heals us and gives us the ability to find peace and happiness. I know that if we seek Him in prayer that He will answer. I know that He loves us. Seek Him this week- we could all do better to understand our Savior's gift for us. And, as Preach My Gospel says, "As your understanding of the Atonement of Jesus Christ grows, your desire to share the gospel will increase. You will feel, as Lehi did, the 'great … importance to make these things known unto the inhabitants of the earth.'"
Daddy, especially now as you are praying for missionary opportunities, I know that understanding the Atonement is your greatest tool in overcoming fear. And Mel, as you work on your papers, same thing.
I love you all so much. I am grateful for your prayers, support and emails. Have a great week and know how much I love you!
Love you always,
Sister Alicia Johnson
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